Quitting is for losers …. as the saying goes.
Quitting has the connotations that we didn’t try hard enough, that we were too lazy or not focused enough or disciplined enough to make it a success whether that be a career, a sports challenge or a relationship.
What if I told you that this could actually be one of our many gifts?
These connotations and the assumptions attached to the word quitting are all too real for us living with ADHD, having a brain that is wired for stimulation and therefore can only stay motivated when there is interest. We are known for impulsivity, starting many things and then giving up on them.
Due to society's very black and white thinking on the need to see things through and finish what you started, this has a huge impact on our confidence and self belief which I am seeing time and time again becoming one of the biggest barriers for my clients taking steps towards what it is they really want.
I want to do that but what's the point i'll only give it up
It's what I do
I start things then give up.
I’ve quit A LOT of things in my life, careers, trainings, friendships and relationships and I still continue to.
Before I was diagnosed with ADHD I would often find myself thinking the negative thoughts around my failed attempts to stick at anything.
Now looking back at the things I ‘quit’ on along my journey and am still doing so now, were the very things I should have let go of as each thing I quit gave me something I needed to learn or realise which then brought me closer to the place of what it was I was searching for. If i hadn’t and ( and still continue to) spend my life exploring what's out there and then letting go of of those jobs, relationships and hobbies that intuitively didn’t feel right after a while I would not now be have a businesses that gives my life more meaning that I could never have imagined all them years ago.
Whilst I believe that there is a huge element of overcoming the brain's desire to quit when things feel tough in the midst of an adventure we have started to pursue, I also believe that what is often overlooked when it comes to the topic of quitting is context…
I believe it is a talent and takes a lot of strength and knowing what it is you want from life to quit something for the right reasons and is something not many are willing to do.
It is far better to quit the wrong thing for something that matters than continue to dance with mediocrity and stay in places that are no longer allowing us to grow and live a life that is exceptional and not one where we merely exist.
When we stop doing the wrong thing, that is where we grow and move onto paths that are more aligned to who we are and what we want from life.
I love the quote from Eddie Pinero...
'To become your best self you have to shed the are not who you are'
It's true ...I say to all new clients I meet on discovery calls that's what an ADHD diagnosis and ADHD Coaching is all about… it's not about adding more it’s about shedding what you are not and creating space to explore the things that you are.’
So today I encourage you to see past the negative connotations of quitting and constantly trying new things because curiosity and exploration is exactly what makes life interesting and is how we discover what we are here to do and what we are not here to do is stay in the wrong things forever because society says we are weak for giving up. It’s what will enable us to get to live without the regret of wishing we had gone after the things that mattered to us.
If you haven’t yet found what it is you are looking for DON'T GIVE UP on chasing the life that so many others are frightened to do and DON'T GIVE IN to a life of mediocrity because quite frankly life is too short to hide your greatness and just merely exists.
Keep exploring what is out there until you find what it is that you were here to do.
Here's to...
Believe in it fully or walk away.
Quitting for the right reasons is for those fearlessly driven to live a fuller life
And it’s mediocrity and small minded thinking that is for losers.
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